Ali G Interviews Kendall Howell

Ali G: Yo, Respek. Dis is yo main mun, Ali G, an' I iz in da house wiv me bruva, me mate, Kendall Howell.

Kendall Howell: Hello.

Ali G: Now, I hear yous just had a brand fresh nippa boy. Big ups. Wot is is name?

KH: Jeffrey Oliver Howell

Ali G: Very well. Word on da street iz dat a massiv push towards PR is happenin at UTS. Iz dis true?

KH: Yes. We have been successful bringing safety to a higher standard at UTS for the past couple of years, so now we're ready to tackle the task of improving our PR with the community.

Ali G: Me was thinking dat yous might av gottun your bitch up da spout to elp PR.

KH: What?

Ali G: Did yous want the public to know dat yous is a man? Dat you iz not shootin blanks?

KH: Well, no, but I don't see what that has to do with...

Ali G: So yous don care dat some people tink dat yous a bit batty? Dat you's a bit on da fairy side.

KH: No one thinks that. Who would think that? I'm married, and besides, so what if I was gay. That would be my prerogative.

Ali G: Iz dat a bum toy?

KH: ??? Can we get back on track please?

Ali G: Respek. So wuz yous maximum whun ya made da fresh routes?

KH: I don't follow.

Ali G: Wuz yous smoken da herbal remidies?

KH: Marijuana? No, I've never smoked marijuana.

Ali G: Den why do yous get 10 minutes at MacDonald's if yous don't hav da munchies?

KH: The reason for that is we have to make sure the buses are spaced out correctly on route.

Ali G: Da drivers get spacey? Does gettin' well spaced out before a shift elp 'im drive. Like when I iz proper stoned, me can watch "Short Circuit" fo like eight hours in a row. As yous seen dat flick?

KH: I must stress that our drivers are prohibited from using any illegal substances, and they are absolutely never...

Ali G: Yo, me luvs da part when he sez "Johny Five is aight." Iz mad wicked. *Snap*

KH: It's "Johny Five is alive."

Ali G: Whateva. So iz dere a fresh dress code at UTS?

KH: Well, we're trying to appear more professional in the eyes of the general public. What I would like to see is a reflection of this professionalism, while keeping intact the laid back nature of the organization we have all come to love. I believe there is a common ground between these two goals.

Ali G: Iz babylons in dat common ground?

KH: What is that?

Ali G: Yous know wot I iz talkin 'bout. Tata's, julie jugs, bazookas. Don yous tink dat bitches should be allowed to show dey breasts when deyz drivin'. Maybe geazers would get out a da way if dey saw a little nip.

KH: That would be sexual harassment if we enforced that behavior, so no.

Ali G: Her ass, wot about hiz ass? HAHAHA

KH: .........

Ali G: Did yous hear wot me just said. Hiz ass. As if...

KH: Yeah. It was.. pretty funny.

Ali G: Yo. Respek! Big ups to you Kendall fo takin' da time to bust wit me, and big ups to UTS. Be mad safe on da roads.