Overheard on Blk 14

I find that the conversation between nurses early in the morning is like watching "Encino Man" and "Biodome" fuck. Here's what we're going to do; I'm going to write down the transcripts of convos that I overheard this morning, peppered with convos I WISH I had heard, and you tell me which ones are truth and which ones are awesome. Go:

• "It's horrible, you know. I mean, Social Security was set up so that we wouldn't have to work later in life. I think everyone should be able to enjoy their golden years, but I think I'm going to have to work until I'm ninty!"
• "Basically I stick to white cheeses because.......oh my god!! Where is all this blood coming from??!!! It's everywhere!! There's so much blood!!" *vomit*
• "This new GPS system is great. I've always thought that it would be nice to know exactly when the bus was coming. That way I can wait in my car if it's raining, or if I just don't feel like standing in the sun."
• "So my cousin Brad Pitt is coming into town to see my new house, and he wants me to invite people from the community so he can hang out with them and make some new friends."
• "Does Jeff still play with the Church band? Now, is that every Sunday, or does he play during the Wednesday evening service as well?"
• "Basically, Robert and I decided that since Breanna is going away to school this summer, we want to make sure that she's able to comfortably handle unfamiliar social situations. So we're trying to hire someone who can teach her how to be a woman. We're prepared to pay exceptionally well, but we're having trouble finding someone who is willing to put forth the multiple hours a day we expect to be spent on teaching our daughter all the ways of the world."
• "The stairs on the bus just kill me every morning. They're so steep, I'm just afraid that one day I won't be able to make it up them! Hahaha."
• "....and then they crashed straight through the gate. Now, my uncle has been raising dinosaurs for years, and I told him not to give them guns, but....."
• "We like to use one ply in our house because we have a septic tank and it's quicker to biodegrade. And you know, if you double it up, you can't even tell that it's not two ply!"
• "......so then she woke up, and I was like FUCK!!!!!!!!"
• "Jessie came to me yesterday and said that I should stay in the office later in the day and help out with the extra paper work in the afternoon. But that makes no sense, because I already have to sort the files when I get to work, so basically I'm doing twice as much work for the same pay. So I told Racheal, if you have a problem with me showing up for work late, you'll just have to deal with it, because I'm not getting screwed with more work and the same pay. And guess what? She backed down. I was so proud that I stood up to her that I went to Kroger and bought a bottle of Barefoot wine."
• "I fucked John in the ass last night."
  

Can you tell which quotes were real? I thought not.